What Montessori Teachers do Instead of 'Time Outs'...
When children are acting out, it often feels easiest to send them away - time out, to their room, etc.
And I get why. Loud or destructive behaviour can be so overstimulating!
Time outs are also just a quick, easy way to end unsafe behaviour - throwing toys, fighting with siblings, or jumping off furniture.
But isolating a child doesn't usually fix the behaviour long-term. It just gives you a break from it.
That's why Montessori teachers actually bring a child in closer when they're having a difficult time, rather than isolating them.
This could be inviting the child to help the teacher with a task or sitting with the child and working closely with them.
The child is kept right by the teacher's side, for however long is needed.
Why does this work?
Working closely with a child, when they're doing something undesirable, helps the teacher gently guide their behaviour into something more desirable.
It also allows the teacher to connect with the child, giving them their full attention, which is often why the behaviour is happening in the first place - a need for attention and connection.
It also allows the teacher to connect with the child, giving them their full attention, which is often why the behaviour is happening in the first place - a need for attention and connection.
Mistakes are OK
The ultimate goal for teachers and parents is to guide children towards independence. We all want our children to go out into the world feeling competent and capable.
By bringing them in closer in the early years, you’re helping them to develop a sense of security in their relationship with you.
Rather than sending them away when they're struggling, you’re telling them "I see you, I understand, and I’ll help you."
They learn that making mistakes is a part of life and they won’t be penalized when making them.
