Should you sneak off during school or daycare drop off?

Should you sneak off during school or daycare drop off?

No. Never.  

It's tempting to wait for your child to be engaged in an activity and sneak out, avoiding any tears.

It makes sense. Why not leave the child in a calm state, avoiding all the big feelings and tears that arise when saying goodbye?   

The problem is that your child will eventually notice and they will likely be even more upset when they do.

From the teacher's perspective, it's much more difficult to comfort a child who doesn’t understand why their parents had left.  

The Other Reason Why You Shouldn't Sneak Away

Sneaking out can also cause your child to become more clingy because they don't know if or when you're going to disappear again.

Saying goodbye to your child, whether they’re calm or upset, tells them "This is a safe place. I know you can manage this. I’m leaving now and I’ll be back later."  

Montessori talks a lot about trusting the child and their abilities, and saying goodbye tells the child that you trust they can manage this.

What To Do Instead of Sneaking Away

The most effective strategy is simply practice saying goodbye (and time).

It might be difficult for a few days, few weeks, and for some, even a few months, but they will eventually get settled in. Just have patience and trust your child's teacher.

It is normal for children to not want to say goodbye to their loved ones. When they have opportunities to practice saying goodbye, they learn that their parents always come back.

If your child is struggling with drop off, check out this blog post for tips on how to make school or drop off easier: https://themontessoriroom.com/blogs/montessori-tips/8-tips-to-make-school-or-daycare-drop-off-easier-from-a-teacher