Why You Shouldn't Ask Your Child “How Was Your Day?”

What goes on when our little people are out in the world without us - when they're in childcare, at school, with grandparents, etc?

• Who do they play with?
• Are they happy there?
• What silly things do they do?

We want to know all the details! I've said before that I'd pay $5K just to be a fly on the wall for one day at my oldest son's school 😆

When we pick them up, we ask "how was your day?" or "what did you do today?", hoping they'll give us a minute-by-minute replay.

Unfortunately, when you ask those questions, you'll usually just get "good" or "I don't know".

BUT there is a little trick to get more insight into their days without us.

Ask specific questions, like:

• Who did you eat lunch with/sit next to at lunch?
• Did you enjoy snack time? What did you have for snack?
• Did anything funny happen today?
• What was the best part? This can be followed by What was the worst part? (more for older children, 3-4+, because these are still more open-ended, 'big' questions)
• Was X (name of friend they play with often) there today?
• Did you do NAME OF ACTIVITY (play in the snow, doing any painting, build anything, etc.)?

Young children can be easily overwhelmed thinking about all the details of their entire day. They don't know where to start.

A specific question can start a conversation and often turns into more dialogue about the day. This can work with older children too.

Just remember that they may also need time to decompress before they're ready talk. They've just "worked" a long day.

If they prefer not to talk on the walk or drive home, just give them a little more time. A snack and drink can help too.

And if your child is having meltdowns after school or daycare, it could be After-School Restraint Collapse. We've written about how to help with that here.