What to do if you disagree with your relatives on parenting - Holiday Edition

The holidays usually involve family parties or overnight visits to stay with relatives.

...and this often means you get extra help to feed, bath, or play with your child.

Wonderful! Who doesn't like extra help, especially from family members that love our children as much as we do?

BUT what if that help looks a little different than how you usually do things?

It can be frustrating when you've spent a lot time researching and working to raise your child a certain way, only to have it completely dismissed by your family.

If you follow a Montessori approach, you probably also value consistency and routine, knowing your young child relies (and thrives) on that predictability.

However, there are benefits to having other people care for your child... even if it looks a little different from how you would do it.

Let me explain...

How Family Members (and Other Caregivers) Can Positively Impact Your Child

Other caregivers teach our children adaptability and flexibility.

There's always going to be interruptions to daily routine, that's just life.

It's good for our children to occasionally experience changes to routine and the way things are usually done.

Other caregivers also teach our children how to interact with different kinds people and this helps to build social skills.

Even if most of your child's days are still spent at home with you, there will be a time when someone else will care for them and they'll socialize with others. It's good to help them understand the perspective that different people do things differently.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

It's important to note that a child's primary caregivers (you!) will always have the most influence on them - their behaviour, mindset, and habits.

Even if your child-rearing approach isn't identical to your relatives, the long-term consequences of this are probably very limited.

It's also won't likely disrupt any long-term routines and habits you've built.

In a two parent household, a child quickly learns that each parent does things a little differently - how they're picked up, fed, dressed, etc.

Children also understand that other caregivers do things differently too, i.e. I'm allowed TV before bed at grandmas but not at home.

You'll usually find that when you're back at home, you'll quickly fall into your daily routines again without issue.

While you might not agree with everything that your relatives do, the benefits of their influence on your child can outweigh the negatives.

That's not to say that unsafe, harmful, or mean behaviour should ever be tolerated.

Decide what you're not willing to compromise on and stick to your boundaries but try not to sweat the small stuff.