How To (Respectfully) Give Away Toys

Most people quietly get rid of their children's old toys, hoping they won't notice.

This might work sometimes but it can also lead to some pretty big feelings, when your child realizes they're missing some of their toys.

An alternative that you might consider is including them in the decision-making process of what toys to keep and what to donate.

I know, it seems like a lot more work than just quietly dropping them in the donation bin. You think, "There's no way they're going to willingly give away their toys!"

But often, children are more open to the idea than you might think, especially when we help them understand why and respect their feelings.

Here's How To (Respectfully) Give Away Toys

1. Offer an Explanation

Explain that we need to make room for new items, that they have other toys they enjoy more now (maybe because of their age/stage of development), and the donated toys can be passed along to another child to enjoy them.

2. Respect Their Decision

If you decide to involve your child in the process, it’s important that you respect their decision.

Go through their toys together and help them choose items without pushing.

Reminding them that they haven’t played with a toy in weeks isn’t helpful, neither is going against their wishes to keep a toy. Give them more time with the toys they want to keep and then revisit donating them the next time.

Over time the process should get easier, as they see and understand we all give away items when they no longer suit us.

The Right Age To Do This

I wouldn’t recommend doing this with children younger than 3 or 4 years old, even at this age it might be difficult.

Young children don’t have a sense of permanence, so there’s a chance they may not fully understand the long-term nature of donating or giving away their toys.

If You Do Donate Their Toys On Your Own...

If you find this collaborative process too difficult and stressful for your child, you may just want to quietly donate. Just be sure to do it at a time when your child is not present.

You may still have to deal with some big feelings if they ask to play with a toy you’ve donated but you can simply explain that that the toy has gone to help another child who needs it.

Keep the conversation positive, focusing on the joy the toy will bring to someone else. While it’s not always possible to avoid disappointment, the key is to thoughtfully consider the toys you’re donating rather than making it a spontaneous de-cluttering mission one afternoon.