Our 6 Favourite Children's Books About Consent
Teaching children about consent is essential, especially at a young age.
Early childhood is when they're building an understanding about how the world works and what healthy relationships look like.
By teaching and modelling consent in the early years, you're building a foundation for:
Early childhood is when they're building an understanding about how the world works and what healthy relationships look like.
By teaching and modelling consent in the early years, you're building a foundation for:
- body autonomy (I'm in charge of my body!)
- building confidence and empowerment
- the prevention of non-consensual sexual activity
Here's our 6 favourite children's books that do an excellent job teaching consent:
1. Yes! No!: A First Conversation About Consent - Ages 2 - 5
Developed by early childhood development experts, this board book offers clear, concrete language and imagery to introduce the concept of consent. I like that this book also teaches children that a "NO" can be non-verbal (crossing arms, hiding behind an adult, crying, etc).
And it's perfect for two year olds but my six year old will still pick it for nightly reading occasionally.
It also helped me to change my own phrasing at home from "no means no" to "yes means yes and everything else means no".
2. Don't Hug Doug - Ages 3 - 7
This is a fantastic book that teaches children we need to ask before we hug someone (and people need to ask permission before hugging them).
Not everyone likes hugs, or to be touched in the same ways, and that's ok. They key is asking! It's recommended for ages 3 - 7 but I think kids as young as two would enjoy it. It's light and silly.
3. We Are in Charge of Our Bodies - Ages 3 - 5
This book tells the story of a school class, as they learn the names for their private body parts, about body autonomy, and why it's important to respect others' bodies. This is really the next step after Don't Hug Doug or Yes! No!: A First Conversation About Consent.
The author, who hosts workshops on teaching boundaries for families and teachers, offers additional activities in the back of the book.
4. We Ask Permission - Ages 3 - 5
This book is written by the same author as the one above and it's a great follow up on the topic of body autonomy.
It encourages children to look for body language cues so they better understand their peers and what they're comfortable with.
5. Want a Hug?: Consent and Boundaries for Kids - Ages 4 - 7
This book was developed by therapist Christine Babinec after years of working with survivors of abuse. It helps children naturally weave consent and body boundaries into their everyday life - "Want a hug?", "Can I play with you?", "Do you want me to push you higher?".
It also lets children know that they can change their minds about consent - I said yes before but I don't like that anymore. This is something I think a lot of adults wish they were taught when they were younger.
6. Don't Touch My Hair! - Ages 4 - 8
I'm trying to get this one for the store because it's so wonderful. Note that it's a great book for children with ALL types of hair.
It teaches the importance of consent but in the context of a different physical characteristic than one your child might have.
Just because we find something physically interesting about another person, doesn't mean we have permission to touch that part of them.
Modelling Consent
In addition to reading about consent, modelling consent at home is just as important.
The reality is that kids are adorable and sometimes we can’t help but ruffle their hair or pull them in for a hug.
It’s an affectionate gesture but it's also important to recognize the moments when they don’t want those touches.
While it might hurt a little to have our children decline a hug, it eventually feels great when we see they see how empowered they feel, confidently declaring boundaries for their body.
If you're interested in modelling consent from birth, you might like this article, How Magda Gerber Completely Changed My Perspective on Diaper Changes
