A Powerful Reminder About Language Development

When a young child is taking a long time to get a word out or finish a sentence, it can be very tempting to speak for them.

Parents (and older siblings) are often so in tune with a child’s needs that they know exactly what their child wants before they even say it.

Whether it’s handing them a snack before they ask or answering a question for them, it’s typically coming from a loving and helpful place.

And in infancy, this is actually an important part of language development.

Before babies can speak, adults naturally narrate their experiences and speak on their behalf: "You’re hungry" or "You want me to pick you up." This helps infants connect words with experiences, emotions and needs.

Responsive communication in infancy is one of the ways children begin learning language in the first place.

BUT as children grow, we need to remember to give them opportunities to speak for themselves.

We also have to remember that young children need more time to process information, organize their thoughts and then turn those thoughts into words. It’s easy for us because we’ve been doing it for decades.

We can do it in a second.

Now, imagine only knowing 100 words?

The Consequences...

When children are consistently spoken for, they lose opportunities to practice speaking for themselves and may begin relying on others to do the talking for them.

In the classroom, teachers can usually tell when children are used to parents or siblings speaking for them because they have more difficulty speaking up for themselves.

This often means they don’t get as many opportunities to develop their confidence or express themselves.

Research shows that children develop their language skills through responsive, back-and-forth interactions, where they are active participants in the conversation.

When To Help

It’s important to note that we never want children to feel unsupported while their language skills are developing.

If a child is really struggling to find the words, help them.

And I would never want to make an older sibling feel badly about speaking on behalf of their younger sibling Again, because its usually coming from a loving place.

But we have to remember not to overdo it.

If the child is simply taking a little bit longer to process the question or formulate the sentence, count to 10 in your head and give them time to figure it out.

Sometimes, the most supportive thing we can do is pause and wait patiently while the child finds their own words.