How Routines Create Confident, Calm, and Independent Children

For most parents, I'm preaching to the choir.

You know the benefits of routines for your child and your family.

You've seen how dysregulated your child becomes when you're out of the normal routines.

In early childhood, routines are the foundation that helps children feel safe, confident and capable.

When children know what to expect, they have the security they need to:

• explore
• learn
• develop independence

Routines ≠ Inflexibility

A common misconception when we talk about routines is that it means keeping a strict schedule.

Routine does not mean every minute of the day needs to be planned or that there is no room for flexibility.

Instead, think of routines as a predictable rhythm or pattern to the day that children can rely on.

This helps children to develop emotional security. When children know what comes next, the world feels more predictable and secure.

When Routines are Most Important...

Routines are especially important during moments of transition or change.

For example, a child who knows that after bath time comes pyjamas, then a story, then bedtime, does not have to wonder what will happen next.

So even if you've moved to a new house, started at a new school, or are away on vacation, that similar flow to the evening can help your child to relax.

The routine becomes a familiar pattern they can rely on.

How Routine Help to Develop Self-Discipline

Routines also support the development of self-discipline.

When children repeatedly practice the same routines, they eventually "absorb" them, as we would say in Montessori, or internalize them.

They begin to understand, "This is what we do next," rather than relying on an adult to direct every step.

A child who learns to regularly put their shoes away after coming inside or wash their hands before eating is developing the ability to recognize what needs to be done and take action independently.

What If Your Child Is Fighting the Routine?

It’s important to add here that just because children need routines, or even crave them, doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll happily follow them all the time.

As young children are developing their independence, they’re also experimenting with their newfound ability to make choices. Resisting routine can sometimes be a part of this process. But don’t give up hope!

A child pushing back against routine does not mean the routine isn’t working.

They are still benefiting from the routine, even while testing its boundaries.

Our daily routine cards can also help when you're struggling with a new routine.

Click here to download them for free.